Mary Kay Scully on the Human Side of Homebuying
Mary Kay Scully is director of customer education at Enact, where she trains more than 35,000 mortgage professionals annually on topics including tax return review, fraud detection, process improvements and compliance. With more than 30 years of industry experience, she has held multiple leadership roles at Enact (formerly GE/Genworth) and began her career as a loan officer. She is former chair of the MBA of New Jersey Women’s Committee. The statements in this article are solely the opinions of Mary Kay Scully and do not necessarily reflect the views of Enact or its management.
Many people buy homes for big reasons: getting married, growing their family, starting new jobs or downsizing when children leave the nest, to name a few. Add to this that buying a home is a big financial decision and, understandably, emotions run high.
I’m sure anyone who works directly with borrowers can think back to a time that a borrower yelled at them, cried on the phone or went silent after something didn’t go their way. Moments like this can easily throw anyone off their game.
So, how can LOs, or anyone else interacting with a borrower, deal with this range of borrower emotions while sticking to subject matter expertise?
Step in the Borrower’s Shoes
For any professional, the mortgage process is second nature. We know why certain information is necessary. We know how long certain steps in the process take. We understand how the market works.
Step into a borrower’s position for a moment. They don’t have any institutional knowledge. Mortgages can be incredibly confusing, especially if it’s someone’s first time buying a home. All they know is that homes are expensive, and everyone is saying rates are high. On top of that, they’re being asked invasive questions and giving up very sensitive personal information like their bank account information, social security number, credit history and their intent to occupy the property.
Not to mention, borrowers are also dealing with whatever big life event made them choose to buy a home. They are juggling big changes to their family or work life that only add more stress and overwhelm – and may have them on a strict timeline to close.
Don’t Take Things Personally
When emotions run high, it’s important to think of how the borrowers are likely feeling. Their emotions probably have nothing to do with their lender and everything to do with them. Borrowers being upset or disappointed about how something turned out is often directed at the process – it’s not a personal attack.
Anger may sometimes – or often – be directed at you, even if the cause is not your fault. Remind yourself that you are helping them through a big life moment. Homeownership is a positive thing and it is likely the biggest financial decision the borrower will ever make. Suze Orman says, “Owning a home is a keystone of wealth—both financial affluence and emotional security.”
Stay laser-focused on the end goal. While it’s natural to want everyone to be happy and to make it to close with no conflicts, that is not always realistic. Getting borrowers into their home, especially their first one, does not come without some discomfort and growth, but the stress of the process starts to fade when borrowers see their homeownership dreams become a reality.
Be the Voice of Reason
The best thing anyone can do when emotions run high is to bring in reasoning. No one makes good decisions when they are confused, angry or sad. As the professional, you have a wealth of knowledge to share that can help calm fears and remove doubts, so explain to borrowers why something didn’t work out and proactively communicate what may be delayed and why. The more education and explanation you’re able to provide, the less likely emotions are to get out of hand. This goes far beyond sending a link to check the loan’s progress. Pick up the phone, be proactive and explain in ways the borrower can understand.
It’s also important to validate their feelings. Knowledge is power, but so is empathy. As you’re educating your borrowers, acknowledge their frustrations or disappointments, don’t dismiss them. You never know when borrowers may just need a listening ear to vent to. Though it may not feel like it, this is where strong relationships can form. Anyone can give borrowers a loan, but not everyone can give them an experience that makes them feel valued and empowered.
Buying a home is a big deal, but don’t let big emotions get in the way. Stick to your expertise and don’t let borrowers’ feelings affect how well you do your job. Listen, empathize, educate and get your borrower’s homeownership journey started on the right foot.
